You might be wondering where am I. You might ask about me. And maybe, most likely, in a year or two, you will completely forget about this phase in your life. The teachings, lessons and games will barely hold a smidgen in your mind. You will have more important things to remember. You will have more friends, more games and more life lessons. The troubles that you cause, the tears that you shed and the tantrums that you throw. You are going to forget them.
Like your memories that will surely be tucked away beneath the surface, I will too gradually forget your words, your names and finally your faces. Nevertheless, at least for a while, it is going to be weird. At this stage in life, I have thought that I am almost void of emotions. Happiness, sadness, excitement, grieve, all but different perspectives to the situation. I feel genuinely upset that I'm leaving, even if it all for the better.
Tearing away. It feels like a little of me just die. Rotten and buried.
Maybe. Maybe I am not always this way. If I am in my early twenties, I could have stuck with you for a bit longer perhaps. The belief system is different and all that matters are the fight for what you feel strongly in.
I don't need appreciation. I don't need farewell.
I hope you grow a little with me as your coach. I hope that you pick up my tiny bits of life wisdom. And for the last tiny bit of selfishness, I hope you feel that I'm a great coach. Even then, it doesn't matter any more.
This is an industry that is akin to walking on sand. Footprints are left, only to be gone with the wind. Yes, early childhood is important but it is all it is.
You are malleable. You are young. And you are naive. To me, coaching you possesses a different form of challenge. You have taught me as much as I have taught you. You have taught me the nuances and the psychology of a child. I am no expert, but I see the desires, behaviors, responses and personalities of each of you.
It all begins to take shape even when you barely blabber. There will be hidden stories in your life that we could never know. It is a wonderful journey. But like the sand, sometimes the forces of the environment shapes and guides one to a different path.
This departure as a coach brings closure of a full circle. Life committed to animal welfare, health/fitness and child/young adult development comes to an end.
When you grow up, you got to know that it is the oscillations on the arc of the circles that creates waves. A full closure of a circle leads to another path in life. It is thus, from certain aspect of death, from the buried part of the soul that one could raise to the opportunity of becoming whole.
At least, in the coming months, I will miss making funny faces at you guys. I will miss the kids who misbehave. And I will miss the randomness of your thought processes and actions.
Atop of all the things that I could miss, the most that I will miss is the me that I could have become.
Feelings are temporal but legacy could potentially be long-lasting.
That's why I'm leaving. I leaving because I don't want to miss who I could be.
Goodbye kiddos. I love you guys. I really do.
Love, Once Coach Ying
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